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Welcome to Mob Living.
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WATCH MOB LIVING LIVE ON RIOTTT.COM
EPISODE 1
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WINTER SECRETS: WINE & WARMTH
posted by: tab on: December 07th 2006 05:20 pm
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New York City is great because it's a 4 season's city. We New Yorkers are not pussies like the people of L.A who wear sweaters in February when it's like 67 degrees out. We know what winter and the cold is. Not for nothing, there's been winters where I couldn't get out of my house because my door was snowed in. Naturally, we know the way to make it through the winter months with style, class, and sass. I don't know why, but we are gonna share all of the secrets with you kitties and cats. Happy Holidays bitches!
WINE, LESS DINE
Winter time is not the time to stuff yourself with comfort foods. I know it's hard…but summer is gonna be here before you know it and you'll be assed out, too fat to lay on the beach. It's more of a time for soup and fondue and dark chocolate and…wine. Got $175 to drop on rouge along with a gift for speaking English? Then ask the refined wine stores for this, deep breath, 2001 Shafer Hillside Select Stags Leap District Cabernet Sauvignon. With a name like that, how can the shit be crappy? The key to your winter time boozing is that you have to start drinking, like the French, at noon. Too much of a challenge? Well then you're a baby. Because besides being good for you and making you look like a high roller, as soon as you step into the snowy streets your cheeks will be hot and you'll be in a great mood all day. Then knock another glass or 3 out during dinner time, and you will either sleep like a lamb or party until the snow starts to melt and the flowers begin growing.
WARM FUZZY FEELING ALL OVER
What is winter without a coat, duh? You gotta have your play coat and then your go out and play coat. One you use to make snow angels and the other is strictly used for looking cute. My cute winter coat pick is brought to you by Burberry and doesn't look like it would keep you very warm.
Aside from the fact that its mid-sleeved, wouldn't it look awesome with a turtle neck and black patent knee-highs? Lets be serious though, who's gonna wear that on the daily? If there's snow on the ground I'm rolling in it. But I also want to look cute in case I'm rolling in it with Joaquin Phoenix (our 3rd winter in NYC secret), which is why I am going to go with what is to me a New York kid classic, the North Face! If a North Face, constructions, and a plain ol' beanie aint the 5 borough winter uniform then what is? This one jacket is simple, warm, and has fur on it, so its not too bummy. Anyway, if you don't already have a North Face, this is the right time to get on it.
BODY HEAT!
I'm too young to sleep with or live with a man, but I sleep with my dog and she's already more warmth and sweetness then I can handle. But waking up in the arms (or by the side if you're realistic) of a hot man (or woman, whatever) on a winter morning really seems like the shit. Forget morning breath and not having any makeup on. Being rubbed with body warmth feels like putting pants on right as they come out of the dryer. Find yourself a nice warm man for the holidaze. If he has a loft in Tribeca that doesn't hurt either.
BREAK OUT
Why didn't you think of this sooner? Fuck the North Face. Take your man and your wine down to some hot island and hibernate. I don't have that kind of money, but I'm willing to accompany anybody if they insist. You have to at least get away for a week. If you stay the whole winter season in New York you'll have pale skin and chappy lips into summertime.
I guess these don't really seem like secrets after all. The truth is you cant learn to have the NYC winter vibe. It's in your blood. If you weren't a 5 year old playing in the street and daring your friends to lick black snow or make igloos around fire hydrants, you cant really know. Just don't ever forget, don't eat yellow snow.
Direct Link: https://mobliving.com/blog/458
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1 comment/s for blog ID#: 458
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/ from: NYC, Duh. / Posted on: December 24th 2006 10:02 am
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The writing here has funny shit, so thank you, tab.
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